Climbing that fucking ladder.
The corporate workplace seldom rewards true sweat and effort. More often than not, it’s that evil prick in the corner who’s taken your report, word-replaced your name with his and sent it in who gets all the kudos.
Or the jackass in the next cube who’s willing to give a better blowjob.
Real work is passed over by politics. Time and time again. You’ve seen it—I know you have.
But, see, I’ve figured out a way to beat the bastards at their own game.
Take Basman, for example. Smart guy from India, has a lot of degrees. You’d think he’d climb the fucking ladder the right way.
But no. See, he got cozy with the big boss at the Christmas party. The two of them disappeared into a bathroom stall for thirty minutes and just like that.
The Indian fucker’s my boss.
I took a week of his smug gloating, nonsensical orders and dictatorial management style. Then, I discovered the solution to all the fucking ladder climbers.
See, I know Basman loves fast cars. He’s got one of those Audi two-door jobs. Boat-load of speeding tickets in the trunk.
Too bad the breaks failed one morning on the way to work.
It was sad, of course. We were all broken up by his James Dean impersonation. But the big boss asked me to step in ‘for the good of the company.’
So my secret to success is to change the rules a bit. When the fucking ladder-climbers skip a rung or two, just even the odds.
I have just about everything I want now. And believe-you-me I worked for it. Just about everything.
Except Steve has that corner office with the nice view of the three rivers…