{"id":281,"date":"2011-03-02T15:45:51","date_gmt":"2011-03-02T15:45:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/rbwood.com\/dir\/index.php\/2011\/03\/02\/5mf40\/"},"modified":"2011-03-02T15:45:51","modified_gmt":"2011-03-02T15:45:51","slug":"5mf40","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/rbwood.com\/dir\/5mf40\/","title":{"rendered":"Week Forty Winning Entry"},"content":{"rendered":"

PROMPT: CRASH\"white_wine_sunset\"<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

Look, I know you\u2019ll think I\u2019m crazy when I tell you this but my neighbors, the Petersen\u2019s, are cannibals.<\/span><\/p>\n

There. I said it.<\/span><\/p>\n

We\u2019ve gone through twelve mailmen since I moved here a year ago. Twelve. This is not a normal turnover rate.<\/span><\/p>\n

Then there were the guys working on the Petersen\u2019s house. Started out with ten workmen. Then it was five. One day, I heard a loud crash, a scream and then silence. The next day Mr. Petersen was finishing the work himself.<\/span><\/p>\n

Still think I\u2019m nuts?<\/span><\/p>\n

The old lady, Mrs. Tyson, who lived on the other side of the Petersen\u2019s disappeared one day. How many eighty-something-year-olds just disappear?<\/span><\/p>\n

The cops looked for weeks and never found the old bat. Now her house is for sale.<\/span><\/p>\n

When my mom was sick last week, the Petersen\u2019s stopped by to wish her well. They brought meatloaf.<\/span><\/p>\n

Mom, dad and my stupid sister loved it. I almost gagged and had to leave the room.<\/span><\/p>\n

Now I\u2019m told that I\u2019ll be cutting the Petersen\u2019s lawn this summer for \u2018college money.\u2019 I\u2019m leaving this note on my Facebook page in case you never hear from me again.<\/span><\/p>\n

And Mr. and Mrs. Petersen? If you\u2019re reading this, I hear sixteen-year-old boys are tough and chewy. My sister, however, eats nothing but ice cream all day and I\u2019ll bet she\u2019d go nice with a crisp white wine.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

PROMPT: CRASH \u00a0 Look, I know you\u2019ll think I\u2019m crazy when I tell you this but my neighbors, the Petersen\u2019s, are cannibals. There. I said it. We\u2019ve gone through twelve mailmen […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":280,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-281","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-c41-5mfe"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/rbwood.com\/dir\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/281","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/rbwood.com\/dir\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/rbwood.com\/dir\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rbwood.com\/dir\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rbwood.com\/dir\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=281"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/rbwood.com\/dir\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/281\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rbwood.com\/dir\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/280"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/rbwood.com\/dir\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=281"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rbwood.com\/dir\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=281"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rbwood.com\/dir\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=281"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}